'Ian Speaks' - from the gob of Ian Dury #4

Unpublished gems from the gob of Ian Dury #4. Photo: courtesy of Ed Baxter

“Being older didn’t seem any kind of drawback. At 31 I was quite fond of myself, with what I looked like, I was quite confident about the glamour quotient. I was quite a cocky dick on stage, fearless. In a way, that came across. It’s not until you’re about 36 or 37 that age does begin to creep across your boat race. I’d been teaching and Keith said, ‘How old are you Ian?’ I must have been 27. He said, ‘Ooh, your skin goes like pastry over 25!’ He’d have been about 21 or 22. Plus we were well aware we had a couple of good looking boys in the band. Keith… as long as you cover the spectrum, a couple of loopies and a couple of crackers, you’re alright. I knew I was old, but I didn’t feel it. Charlie Watts is older than me, I’ve known him since 1964. I’m younger than Ringo and I’m younger than Bill, so I’m the youngest on the bill!”

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'Ian Speaks' - from the gob of Ian Dury #3

Unpublished gems from the gob of Ian Dury #3. Photo: courtesy of Chris Gabrin

“Fred Rowe at the Torrington… I was singing and I saw a brandy glass come flying through the air. Smash! It bounced off me and hit the drummer. Fred’s talking to a girl with large bosoms and didn’t notice it. I said, ‘Fred, a geezer’s just thrown a glass, get up the back, when he moves he’s yours.’ When the number finished I said, ‘I get paid to stand here like a cunt, who threw the glass? Whoever it was better go home now. You all know who he was, send him packing.’ The geezer moved and Fred said ‘Gotcha…’ ”

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'Ian Speaks' - from the gob of Ian Dury #2

Unpublished gems from the gob of Ian Dury #2

“When I was at the Royal College of Art there was a bloke in the graphics department who had this book about the Nazis. The back third was sealed with a warning. I wanted to burn the book. I didn’t want it to exist, to be in the world. If you show that image to somebody it will be burnt into their mind for the rest of their life. What good does that do? I’ve got a friend who has to stay out the way a little bit because of his paintings and he had a book called ‘The Encyclopaedia of Sexual Perversions’. It was German, printed in the thirties. There was some innocuous stuff in it, but one photograph of a geezer hanging from a washing line by his bollocks, which were stretched by about two foot. When you turned the book upside down, he had a big smile on his face. Masochism. The book was full of it. I’m glad I’m clean. I don’t want to be tainted by that stuff. Another book, ‘The Encyclopaedia of Murder’ by a bloke called Colin Wilson. There was a bloke in it called Albert Fish who ate kids with sugar. I can’t handle it, I’m a naïve little prat from Upminster.”

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'Ian Speaks' - from the gob of Ian Dury #1

Unpublished gems from the gob of Ian Dury #1. Photo: courtesy of Kees Bakker

"I got invited by Lord Gowrie to be a rock’n’roll… there was me, Pete Townshend and Bob Geldof. They knew the three of us had read a book. We were in the Arts Minister’s office for lunch… I thought, ‘Fuck me what am I doing here?’ Somebody came up to Bob and said, ‘Why don’t you invite Ian and Pete to be on your [charity] record?’ I would have done it, but he never asked me. Bob said, ‘These two haven’t had a hit record for 15 years.’ I couldn’t argue with him. I’m quite glad I didn’t do Live Aid and very glad I didn’t do anything that’s happened subsequently. I don’t actually believe that’s what it’s all about."

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A tale of two books

No one biographer has the exclusive right to his or her subject. The field is always wide open for anyone to tell the story of… in this case, the late great Ian Dury. ‘The Definitive Biography’ – the third full-length Dury book to come out – was published six months ago and has enjoyed healthy sales and good reviews. In 2004, Jim Drury gave us ‘Ian Dury and the Blockheads: Song by Song’, whilst the first book about Ian – ‘Sex & Drugs & Rock’n’Roll’, by Richard Balls, came out 10 years ago, shortly after Ian’s death. All three books are, in my humble opinion, worthy accounts of Ian’s life, but differ in many respects. It is not for me to compare the qualities or otherwise of each book and I relate the following story for amusement purposes only.

When ‘The Definitive Biography’ was announced (it was my publisher’s title by the way), the news reached ‘Sex & Drugs’ author Richard Balls. Apparently, Richard was so incensed by the title that he complained to his publisher, Omnibus, whose commissioning editor, Chris Charlesworth, posted a blog on Rock’s Back Pages in December 2009. You may care to read Chris’s blog and some of the subsequent comments (scroll down to ‘Ian Dury Biography’): http://www.rocksbackpagesblogs.com/author/chris-charlesworth/

Chris, who hadn’t actually read my book when he composed his missive, rightly defended Richard’s book and trumpeted its merits, but cast doubt over whether ‘Definitive’ could possibly live up to its claim, because Richard, Chris suggested, had done all the Dury research that could possibly be done, implying there was no need for another tome on the subject. ‘Richard’s book was… and remains definitive.’

Fight!

Actually, I chose not to rise to the bait. I simply began to spread the word about the imminent release of ‘The Definitive…’ utilising Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc (which is all part of an author’s duties in the modern age). Suddenly, after a hiatus of several years, there was a rash of positive reviews on Amazon for Richard Balls’ book. These were from such reliable sources as ‘EM’ and ‘MT’. The latter wrote: ‘this [Balls' book] is THE definitive book on Ian Dury’ – even before ‘The Definitive…’ had been published! One Amazon customer, the mysterious ‘DCD’, even stated: ‘I won't review this book [‘The Definitive…’] as I haven't read it and have no intention of doing so.’

So there!

That’s it really, except to relate that I bumped into Chris Charlesworth this week at a book launch for Zoe Street Howe’s ‘How’s Your Dad?’ Chris was sort of apologetic about his rant on Rock’s Back Pages and wanted ‘to clear the air’. It was Balls, he said, who had voiced his annoyance (over ‘The Definitive…’) and this was what prompted him to post the objection. Chris was also complimentary about ‘The Definitive…’ saying, ‘from the bits I’ve read it’s a damn good read.’

Richard Balls (or 'Ball' as he now styles himself) gave us a book that was well-researched and I admit that I scoured it for clues when writing my own book, ‘as you do’. For the record however, ‘The Definitive…’ offers many exclusive and direct quotes from Ian Dury himself, taken from numerous first hand interviews I conducted (sadly, Balls was unable to interview Ian); it also contains details of Ian’s father’s family background (in contrast to Balls: ‘information about [Bill’s] family background is thin on the ground’); it features a family tree that I researched and drew up, going back five generations; it quotes numerous extracts from letters written by Ian to his muse Roberta Bayley, and includes an interview I conducted with Kilburns’ guitarist Keith Lucas, who until now has remained tight-lipped about his dramatic bust-up with Ian. There are also 35 previously unseen or rare photographs and a beautiful jacket illustration by Sir Peter Blake.

My advice?

Read both!

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12 May: Happy Birthday Ian Dury

In 1941, Peggy fell pregnant for the second time and at 9 a.m. on Tuesday 12 May 1942 gave birth, at home, to a healthy baby boy. Peggy had bought a three-year diary in anticipation of the momentous event, and her entry for the day of birth reads: 'Weight 7lb 6ozs - marked by forceps - slight facial paralysis - Tuesday's child.' Within forty-eight hours, the proud parents registered the birth at Hendon Registry Office and, incorporating Bill's mother's maiden name, called their son Ian Robins Dury.

'I was conceived at the back of the Ritz and born at the height of the blitz,' Ian quipped some fifty-three years later when we met to discuss, amongst other things, his early years. It was a typically colourful couplet to describe his world debut. He went on: 'My mum was a health visitor, and her sister was a doctor, and her other sister an education officer. My dad was a bus driver. He was bright, but he wasn't educated. He left school at thirteen. He came from a long line of bus drivers, as they say. They were proud of it.'

Photograph - Ian aged 3 - courtesy of Jemima Dury

Read more in 'Ian Dury: The Definitive Biography' by Will Birch (Sidgwick & Jackson)

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Ian Dury: a reading at Southend Library, May 19

I'm off to Southend Central Library on the evening of Wednesday 19 May. They have asked me to read some passages from 'Ian Dury: The Definitive Biography.' I'm currently thumbing though the chapters looking for suitable extracts, maybe with a bit of local colour, but trying to avoid the colourful language - there might be 'librarians' present. It's not easy - every other quote seems to contain an f-word or a c-word, but I haven't hesitated in quoting them at other readings and they usually get a laugh. I'm told there will be 'refreshments' and a Q&A session at the end. They will be selling copies of the book and of course I'll be happy to sign.
The poster above contains ticket details. Hope you can make it, and no arseholes or bastards please. F... C... and P.... are of course welcome.

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